


Kissing in the Rain

by MajestyTime



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Cold, Fluff, Holding Hands, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, New York City, Nightmares, Nighttime, Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:46:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajestyTime/pseuds/MajestyTime
Summary: Eiji steps closer to Ash and it's like air around Ash completely shifts to make room for Eiji. Ash tries to keep his frown in place but can't. Instead, something warm breaks through the cold in Ash. Slowly, Eiji lifts his hand from his side and intertwines his fingers with Ash's.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 15
Kudos: 161





	Kissing in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> you'd think i'd have more time to write in quarantine but online school and procrastination has been eating up all my time. so sad.
> 
> anyways, i hope you this! if it's kinda crappy, i'm sorry; i haven't written in a while so i'm kinda rusty

An ambulance speeds past, its siren wailing loudly into the night. The sky was dark and covered in deep gray clouds. Rain pattered hard against the pavement, soaking everything in a silky sheen. The lights of local restaurants lit up the sidewalks. Wavy, vibrant colors slid over the concrete in the dark. Reds and greens and yellows were made fierce and fiery, lit up by the water washing over everything against the dark backdrop of the gray-black sky.

Ash gazes at the lights streaming in from the shops as walks, his hands shoved into the pockets of his denim jacket, hood pulled over his head. He was completely soaked through and every inch of his skin was filled with numbing cold. He stops walking and stands underneath the awning of some restaurant. Ash takes in a deep breath, the cool smell of rain soothing some of the terror that weighed him down and lingered in him, tightening his chest and back.

It was strange how beautiful New York City looked sometimes. Ash could never decide if he loved or hated this treacherous city of dreams. Right now, staring at the colors lighting up the dark gray of the world, Ash could see why so many people loved New York City. The cold of the rain seeping into his skin and filling the silence calmed Ash. Fear lurked inside him, but at least here, in the streets and freezing cold, he could breathe, unlike back at the apartment, where the dark and the drowning heat suffocated him.

The rain continues to crash hard against the world, filling the air and leaving no room for doubt or fear to hang over him. Ash closes his eyes, savoring the numbness within him. He had always preferred the cold over the heat. The heat made Ash feel good but it made him slow and sloppy. It wasn't the warmth that had kept him alive all this time. It was the icy chill of the cold that kept him sober and awake. The cold was painful, but pain was good. Pain kept him alert and sharp. Ash felt more alive and ready for anything in the cold than he did in the heat.

Eiji brought Ash warmth. Eiji was the one exception to Ash. He knew Eiji was too warm, too close to the light, but he didn't care. Eiji's warmth coursed through him and brought him so much happiness that it was unbelievable. Sometimes, Ash felt like he was dreaming when he was in Eiji's presence. Feeling like he was dreaming was extremely dangerous, and he knew that objectively, being around Eiji made him weaker, but Ash could never bring himself to care. Ash was a dry forest drenched in gasoline, aching for warmth and the dangerous mistress that was happiness, and Eiji was a lit match, a master of easy laughter and everything Ash could never have. Ash was bound to go down in flames the second he and Eiji met.

Eiji was impossible to resist. Ash knew it was wrong and selfish to keep Eiji by his side, but every time Ash was with Eiji, it was like seeing the whole world in color for the first time. After years and years of drowning, Ash could finally breathe. He could finally feel his own heart beat again and he could feel Eiji's warmth save him from that endless loop of terror, anger, and gnawing emptiness. After finally feeling human and happy to be alive, how could he possibly give up his heart and lungs once more? Giving up Eiji would be like ripping out all of his organs, and though Ash knew he should (it's not like he deserved to live anyways), he could never bring himself to do it.

Ash hears a voice calling out to him from the other side of the thick and heavy rainfall. He turns his head towards the voice, only to see Eiji jogging towards him in sneakers and the blue button-up pajamas he'd gone to bed in. Ash's eyes widen at the sight.

"Ash," Eiji exhales, as if finding Ash had lifted the weight of the world off of his lungs. Eiji's black locks of hair clung to his forehead, his curls wavier because of the rain. His pajamas clung to his skin and every inch of Eiji's body had water droplets clinging onto him.

Ash's first instinct is to take off his denim jacket and give it to Eiji to wear, but Ash quickly remembers that he is completely drenched too, so giving Eiji his jacket would not help. Instead, Ash grabs the hem of Eiji's pajama shirt and tugs Eiji towards him, pulling Eiji out of the rain and under the cover of the awning. Without thinking, Ash pulls Eiji close enough for their chests to be brushing against each other. The motion causes Eiji to stumble slightly, making Eiji grab onto Ash's arm. Ash quick reflexes kick in, making him catch Eiji's with his arms and pull him close. Eiji stares up at Ash with eyes too bright for someone getting completely drenched in the rain during the middle of the night. Helplessly, Ash's eyes flick down to Eiji's lips and sparks jump around inside him. The air was still cold around him, keeping him clearheaded. Barely a millisecond passes with Eiji in his arms before Ash gently but swiftly rights Eiji and lets go of him before taking a small step back. Every inch of Ash's skin was ice, keeping him grounded. His eyes drift over Eiji, studying the drops of rain clinging to his skin and hair.

"Why are you out here without an umbrella?" Ash says, frowning.

Eiji blinks incredulously at him. "You don't have an umbrella either! Why are you out here at all?"

Ash doesn't respond, instead opting to stare out at the street where the colors drifted and blended together, never present, never still. Ash wanted to submerge himself in the neon colors, ignore all the gray surrounding them as he floated aimlessly through nothing.

"I came here to find you," Eiji says, softer this time. "You had a nightmare and thought freezing out here in the rain was better than being at home. Clearly, whatever nightmare had woken you up was really bad."

"Who said I had a nightmare?" Ash replies with false nonchalance. "I could be in the middle of something important."

"You ran out of the apartment but didn't travel far," Eiji says. "And you're not with anyone. You're not doing anything right now."

Eiji steps closer to Ash and it's like air around Ash completely shifts to make room for Eiji. Ash tries to keep his frown in place but can't. Instead, something warm breaks through the cold in Ash. Slowly, Eiji lifts his hand from his side and intertwines his fingers with Ash's. Even in the pouring rain, somehow, Eiji's fingers were warmer than Ash's. The cold was there to keep Ash sober, keep Ash sane. But, for some reason, Ash could feel himself approaching the edge, grasping at the faint wisps of a huge revelation.

"Why did you run out into the rain?" Eiji asks quietly.

Ash stays quiet for a moment, the lack of space between him and Eiji making him feel fuzzy. Ash tightens his grip on Eiji's hand slightly. "The apartment was just too suffocating. I just needed some air. And I like the rain."

"You could've talked to me," Eiji murmurs, stepping a bit closer to Ash.

Ash's eyes drift down to Eiji's lips again. "You were asleep."

"You could've woken me up," Eiji replies, his voice like honey dripping over Ash's heart. "I wouldn't have minded."

"I didn't want to talk about it."

"So?" Eiji quirks an eyebrow. "You could've woken me up anyways. I promised you forever, remember? I'm here for you."

A small smile makes its way onto Eiji's lips. The look on Eiji's face was so sweet, so reassuring, that something inside Ash melts. Ash leans in slowly and rests his forehead against Eiji's. Rain continued to crash down onto the streets, but strangely, the world felt very still in the chilly late night air.

The realization creeps on Ash slowly, with immense clarity, like a soft drizzle in the misty morning air, waking him up steadily and slowly.

Ash didn't care.

Ash didn't care that Eiji was his biggest weakness. Ash didn't care about the fact that Eiji deserved someone better than him. Ash didn't didn't care because Eiji was here for him. Eiji wanted to stay by Ash's side and give him everything he never had and Ash wanted Eiji to stay, to be with him. Eiji wasn't Ash's weakness; Eiji was Ash's greatest strength because he kept Ash human. Eiji kept Ash from being swallowed into the abyss. He kept Ash from turning into a full-on bloodthirsty monster and Ash would never stop being grateful for that.

Ash knew Eiji deserved better than him. He knew that Eiji deserved the best person in the world, but Eiji wanted to be with someone like him, so while Eiji was still with him, Ash would hold Eiji while he still could. Ash would never stop trying to be the best for Eiji, even if he knew he'd never quite fit the bill.

"Eiji," Ash breathes, almost dreamily.

"Ash," Eiji breathes. Their hot breath forms misty clouds in the air.

"Can I kiss you?" Ash murmurs.

"Yes," Eiji murmurs back, gripping Ash's t-shirt.

Gently, slowly, sweetly, Ash's eyes flutter shut as he pulls Eiji close to him and presses his lips against Eiji's. Ash wraps his arms around Eiji as their lips move together. Ash and Eiji are both soaking wet, but somehow, that makes their kiss better. Buzzing electricity makes its way from Ash's lips to the deepest, darkest parts of his heart.

Ash's body is full. Ash has a beating heart and breathing lungs and all his other organs are soaring inside him. Stupidly, Ash feels like he's having his first kiss and it's better than Ash could have ever imagined.

Eiji follows along with Ash sloppily, definitely inexperienced. He grips Ash's hair and his fingers rest splayed against Ash's stomach and it feels so, so good. It feels so good to give and receive love, instead of having it taken and forced upon Ash.

Eiji breaks away from the kiss to catch his breath. His eyes were half-lidded and gazing at Ash with love Ash never knew he could have. Eiji's lips were parted and Eiji looked just as dazed as Ash felt. In this moment, underneath the misty, dark gray sky of night, surrounded by rain and colors of a stormy, fickle city, Ash had never felt more present and alive.

Ash kisses Eiji again and again and again, holding onto this glassy, iridescent feeling of joy for as long as he can before he loses it all to the chaos of the city once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment or a kudos if you enjoyed! Reading comments make me more motivated to write and they make my day :)


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